Gerri Norington, 78, never imagined herself being alone as she grew older.
But after a divorce, the death of her second husband over 30 years ago, and the end of a five-year relationship in 2006, she found herself in a situation that has left her feeling lonely ever since.
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“I miss having a companion who I can talk to and ask ‘How was your day?’ or ‘What do you think of what’s going on in the world?'” said Norington, who resides in a seniors’ apartment building on the South Side of Chicago. Even though she has a loving daughter living in the city, she doesn’t want to burden her.
Norington is just one of the more than 16 million Americans who find themselves growing old alone. Surprisingly, little is known about their unique experiences.
This segment of the elderly population faces significant health challenges. Nearly 4 in 10 seniors living alone experience vision or hearing loss, difficulty with self-care and independent living, cognitive issues, or other disabilities according to a KFF analysis of 2022 census data.
Lacking assistance at home when needed exacerbates these difficulties and contributes to declining health. Studies show that older adults living alone are at higher risk of isolation, depression, inactivity, accidents, and neglecting self-care, leading to more frequent hospitalizations and premature deaths.
Accessing medical services can be problematic, particularly for older adults residing in rural areas or lacking transportation. Health care providers often overlook seniors living alone and remain unaware of the challenges they face.
Defining the ‘gray revolution’
Over the past six months, I’ve had conversations with numerous older adults who find themselves alone either by choice or circumstance, most commonly due to the death of a spouse. Some have supportive family members or friends while others do not.
In these conversations, common concerns emerge: How did I end up alone at this stage of life? Am I content with this situation? Who can I rely on for help? Who will make decisions for me if I’m unable to? How long can I care for myself, and what will happen when I can’t?
This ‘gray revolution’ in American living arrangements is driven by longer life expectancies, increasing divorce rates and childlessness, smaller families, the dispersal of family members, a preference for aging in place, and a desire for what sociologist Eric Klinenberg terms ‘intimacy at a distance’ – being close to family but not too close.
The US Census Bureau provides the most recent, reliable data on older adults living alone. The 2023 Current Population Survey reveals that about 28% of individuals aged 65 and older live independently, including slightly fewer than 6 million men and slightly more than 10 million women.
In contrast, only 1 in 10 older Americans lived alone in 1950.
This issue primarily affects older women as they outlive men and are less likely to remarry after widowhood or divorce. Twenty-seven percent of women aged 65 to 74 live alone versus 21% of men. After 75, an astonishing 43% of women live independently compared to 24% of men.
Among individuals living alone after 65, 80% are divorced or widowed, twice the rate of the general population. More than 20% live below the federal poverty line, highlighting economic challenges faced by this group.
Seniors living alone have various experiences
Experiences among older adults living alone differ significantly, influenced by financial status, housing, support networks, and community resources.
Attitudes play a crucial role with many seniors valuing their independence while some feel deserted. Loneliness can fluctuate even among those with supportive friends and family.
“I prefer being alone over being in relationships,” said Janice Chavez of Denver, in her 70s. “I have the freedom to do whatever I want. I love the independence and freedom.”
Chavez, twice divorced, has been on her own since 1985. She talks to her daughter daily and is close to neighbors. Norington in Chicago contemplates moving to the suburbs after dealing with vandalism, feeling paralyzed by fear post-pandemic.
She’s actively engaged in her community, starting organizations, volunteering at medical centers, organizing social events, and staying connected through spiritual messages.
Ken Elliott, a retired psychology professor in Maine, advocates for solo agers like himself, highlighting the challenges they face in accessing resources. Lester Shane in Manhattan, an actor and writer, grapples with housing issues and aging without a support system.
Kate Shulamit Fagan shares her experience of loneliness and finding a sense of community in St. Petersburg after a difficult move to Philadelphia. Support and connections are essential for older adults living alone, as they navigate the challenges of aging.
KFF Health News is a reputable source of health journalism that delves into health issues. It’s a core program at KFF, an independent health policy research, polling, and journalism organization. Discover more about KFF.
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